Thursday, April 12, 2012

Just to let you know

Hi Blog, it's been a while since I last talked to you huh.. How are you? Oh yea, I forgot you don't know how to answer. Hmm.. I don't know where to start.. I have been very down and emo recently. At first I thought it was due to PMS that I encountered two weeks ago. but it seems like the same feeling is coming over and over again. There is no one for me to whine on, there is no one for me to lean on.. All I know is to cry.. yes cry in silent mode.I forgot how I should express myself, or I should say even if I say it out, no one can help.

I felt that I am being isolated now, perhaps it's because Im working alone this semester without a partner, and I tend to finish late. So PS, WH, will often leave for early lunch together with EC. This was not what we used to do last time. Whenever we all hang out together, I will always be the one who doesn't understand their topic, perhaps we have different interest, or I dont have any sense of humor, or Im not a pretty girl that everyone wants to talk to, so I just could not blend into theirs anymore. Little by little, day by day, I feel distant from everyone, I am no longer the important one anymore, perhaps I am just hungering for attention.

I am losing my motivation, losing my energy, losing my focus to study and learn new things. Many works and assignments are piling up, but I just don't feel like doing anything everyday. I have already lost pace with the world. Wake up Jamie!!

Today my patient's husband is angry with me because I referred my patient (Vivian Lee) to Eu Gene for his competency test. Then he said:" So now it's like doing experiment on her la, if I know it will take so long I would not have allowed her to come. You go to the same barber. You can't let different barber to cut your hair right. He then walked off angrily and also cancelled his own appointment with me." Though I looked fine when I was telling this story to Warren, Eu Gene, Edmund, Vincent, and Kai Shang who were there, but deep inside my heart I felt sad. My mind is struggling.. Yes, I don't mind losing a patient that is impatient and not understanding at all, I can happily have more time to practice other thing on other patient. In the same time I felt bad because they might be badmouthing about me and IMU outside. Haihz.. It's always hard to help people. Selfish is sometimes necessary to avoid trouble.

Okie, let's not talk about anything negative now. Hmm.. I feel happy when I did my first post and core on Moien, looking satisfactory from the radiograph. =) Have done a few of crowns, extraction, and RCT this semester. Good start=) Keep it up Jamie! Read more before you do something. Make sure you know the rationale behind everything you provide to your patients.

Oh ya, I will be celebrating my 22nd Bday in Genting. Mummy booked the room for 3 days and 2 nights, because she got free voucher from dono where. But because of this, I could not go to PD with my uni friends that have planned for me. Happy to know that they are quite thoughtful of me. :) Very excited to find out that Qeng actually has a bf two months ago! OMG! Could not stop laughing and smiling on my own that day. At the same time felt stupid as I did not realize "sparkle" between her and Keat Boon long before this while Pui Seen had already got it right. Haha.

Another good news, erm, or call it "extra work" is that I was chosen to orally present my research at Uitm in June. Warren and I will be going for oral presentation while Ee Mee and Jun Ai will be doing poster presentation. Hmm, it certainly will be a good experience for me as I would not have any other chance to present in front of so many people in the future but in the mean time I scared that my stage fright will somehow embarrass me. Oh.. Please pray that everything will be fine.=)

Monday, November 7, 2011

不发脾气有那么难吗?

在学校有压力,回来还要受气。。
不是只有你有脾气,只因为你有年级,我不忍心看到你生气, 所以我忍声吞气。。
可是你每次小事化大,把有的没的都统统大骂,我就没有感受吗?
我不出声不代表我赞同,是因为知道说什么都没有用,因为我们的想法实在很不同。。
快乐很简单,只要不要把所有事想得太难。。
也许有一天我不在了,你看不到我了,你就会更开心。。
那我宁可选择你开心,我也不需要我长命。。

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

被婉拒的玩具

我只是一个玩腻了就会被丢弃的玩具~ 这玩具很多人愿意收留,可它偏偏只念着那位主人。以为主人有天会回头把它拾回去,哪知主人回家时拿出来玩一玩,又把它丢掉了~完毕...

Monday, September 19, 2011

What can I do?

My mom is lying on the sofa crying silently with the lights off at this time.. 2.45am ..but I don't know why.. Trying to recall am I the reason behind what she is doing? Did I say something harsh that hurt her? Hmm.. I don't know. She didn't answer me why, just asked me to go to bed. Haihz.. Useless daughter, I can't do anything for her. I'm always loud, impatient, and like to shout back. Why?? Shouldn't.. Shouldn't treat my mom like that anymore.. Sorry mami..I will try to control my temper k..cox every time I see u cry, I feel like crying too :'(

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

To trust or not? NO!

11/8/2011
I learned one new thing today. Do not simply trust anyone.
Hmm..Am I too sensitive?? Or paranoid??
Aiks..Better be careful than be regret~

*Im talking about itunes sync thingy. FB, Whats app, photos.. Is that just a coincidence? Or..It's you? Yesterday your what's app with her disappointed me too. It's not because of the content, but because you didn't tell me the truth! I was giving you second chance to explain yourself but you ruined it. You even betrayed your best friend just to distract the topic. No way, totally lost trust in you. Thank you, bye bye.

Yesterday all contacts in iPhone were lost. Cox..Edmund helped me to format computer, then iTunes data all gone ad. n then he sync it back without knowing my itunes contacts are empty. So the empty one replaced my phone contacts! I was really really down.

Today in what's app, Vince told me: Don't know what to say to you wor. but it's not the end of the world :) Looked for sponsorship the whole afternoon after practicing Malay dance with Kai Shang n Jun Ai in OHC. Came back n called Pui Seen to console her. (She was crying while calling me before that) Hmm..let the experienced one--me to handle ba~went to Pasar Ramadhan in Sri Petaling but all finished==" Disappointed! Ate loh mee, fried brinjal, vege, and hokkien mee at last. not bad la..

Sunday, July 17, 2011

珍惜值得被珍惜的人=)

他。。不会拒绝我的请求
他。。在默默地付出
他。。仔细聆听我的细说
他。。在适当时给与鼓励
最重要的是,
他。。并没有要求回报~

这样的人,别处能找吗?
这样的人,值得一试吗?
这样的人,失去时, 会后悔吗?

我想,应该试着去珍惜。。值得被我珍惜的人~
可我不懂, 我在等着什么,我在期待什么~

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Productive day

Time to report sem7 result:

ICA
ODS: A-
DP2: B+

Skype with Shu Qeng for an hour~
Had Mihun tomyam goreng pattaya that I had been craving for since yesterday!
Studied in library with Yun Teng from 1-9pm
+Rojak for dinner
Back here FB as usual
zzz at 11pm=)

Simple n nice day^^